Saturday, January 8, 2011

Gee your hair smells terrific!

It's another wild-ass Friday night at Casa de Bink! I'm sporting my jammies, swilling coffee, listening to iTunes, and working a bit. Contain the jealousy!

Prior to hunkering down for the night, I ran to Walgreens for my monthly refills of dope. Better living through pharmacology, ya know! Standing in line for the pharmacy turned into a damned episode of the Twilight Zone! What motivates people to stand right fucking next to you, when there is another approximate 46.7 sq. ft. of available space in which they can stand? Seriously?! This bitch behind me was SO up my ass, I thought she was about to perform a pap smear (sans stirrups). Then, there's the fact that EVERYONE was hacking, horking, snotting, and wheezing like they had tubercu-fucking-losis! I shit you not! Maybe it was SARS! Swine flu? Hell, I dunno!

*JEEBUS...just gimme my crack and get me the hell outta here!*

(My eye was twitchin' and e'rthang!) I text the hubby to express my anxiety over my imminent infectious disease. Once he finished chastising inquiring about why I didn't use the drive through...he says, "Tuberculosis is actually rather hard to contract. But cover your face and just get in and get out!" OHHHHHH, well thanks, Dr. House! But I digress...

As I stand uncomfortably close in the line, trying to avoid becoming part of the Human Centipede, I look over to one of the shelves and notice some obscure beauty products. And what do I see?????



Yes, that says "PLACENTA" Hair Conditioner! I mean, really. "Gee baby, your hair smells terrific. Is that eau de cervix you're wearing?" For fuck's sake!

I snapped the pic, while all of the infected folks looked at me like I was the one with some strange affliction. I then paid for my stuff and got the hell out of there!

2 comments:

  1. Did you at least smell the stuff for goodness sakes?! Besides if it smells good you're just hippy enough to try something like that, right? Just for the heck of it. Granted it looks like they may have used some other ingredients it ain't ALL afterbirth in that bottle. :oP The horrid mental pic of some frustrated woman shoving a placenta into that bottle with a stick, is forever burned in my brain. *starts looking for my therapists card* Now I'll need an appointment for sure. Thanks crazy woman for reminding me about my crazies.

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