Saturday, January 8, 2011

Gee your hair smells terrific!

It's another wild-ass Friday night at Casa de Bink! I'm sporting my jammies, swilling coffee, listening to iTunes, and working a bit. Contain the jealousy!

Prior to hunkering down for the night, I ran to Walgreens for my monthly refills of dope. Better living through pharmacology, ya know! Standing in line for the pharmacy turned into a damned episode of the Twilight Zone! What motivates people to stand right fucking next to you, when there is another approximate 46.7 sq. ft. of available space in which they can stand? Seriously?! This bitch behind me was SO up my ass, I thought she was about to perform a pap smear (sans stirrups). Then, there's the fact that EVERYONE was hacking, horking, snotting, and wheezing like they had tubercu-fucking-losis! I shit you not! Maybe it was SARS! Swine flu? Hell, I dunno!

*JEEBUS...just gimme my crack and get me the hell outta here!*

(My eye was twitchin' and e'rthang!) I text the hubby to express my anxiety over my imminent infectious disease. Once he finished chastising inquiring about why I didn't use the drive through...he says, "Tuberculosis is actually rather hard to contract. But cover your face and just get in and get out!" OHHHHHH, well thanks, Dr. House! But I digress...

As I stand uncomfortably close in the line, trying to avoid becoming part of the Human Centipede, I look over to one of the shelves and notice some obscure beauty products. And what do I see?????

Yes, that says "PLACENTA" Hair Conditioner! I mean, really. "Gee baby, your hair smells terrific. Is that eau de cervix you're wearing?" For fuck's sake!

I snapped the pic, while all of the infected folks looked at me like I was the one with some strange affliction. I then paid for my stuff and got the hell out of there!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Lookin' back on 2010

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Survive my husband's third deployment! Rebuild my motorcycle! =]

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Resolutions?! Bwahahahahahah, uh no fucking way! The only quasi resolution I have for this year is to get healthy and finally graduate!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My sister-in-law, Ginny. She gave birth to Zachary Alexander on Christmas Eve!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My godparents' mother, Grandma B passed away. She left a huge hole in many hearts!

5. What countries did you visit?

I live 5 miles from Juarez, somunbitchin'Mexico! This pretty much counts as another damn country!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Can a bitch get some peace of mind? Seriously?? I would like for my family to be healthy.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Hmmmm, not really dates. But the supposed "end" of the War in Iraq, and Overturning of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I didn't choke anyone to sleep! Go me!

9. What was your biggest failure?

Started smoking again!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I'm pushing 40 years old. I can injure myself in my sleep!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Lots of motorcycle parts! My first overly priced designer handbag, even though I got that bitch on sale! Tons of Pampered Chef goodies!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My little fur babies saved me through the deployment!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I wouldn't even know where to start! Several "friends" and neighbors seemed to have really dropped the ball when it comes to tact and decency.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Textbooks! FML!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Finally getting my bike put back together and riding a lot! And finding out that I can graduate Summer 2011. That means I will have finished my degree in 3 years!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

La Roux – “Bulletproof”, Usher feat. – “OMG”, Lady Gaga – “Bad Romance”, Eminem feat. Rihanna - "Love the Way You Lie", P!nk - "Raise Your Glass"...I'm sure there's more!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Mehhhhh
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner
c) richer or poorer? Poorer!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wanted to travel more, read more, write more, workout more....

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I spent less time on frivolous bullshit, with narrow-minded people!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Dinner with the Nusser's; our close friends and neighbors here!

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?


22. What was your favorite TV program?

Egads! Dexter, House, Lie to Me, Nurse Jackie, Fringe, Law & Order SVU, Gray's Anatomy, Private Practice.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word. Let's just say I choose to "distance" myself.

24. What was the best book you read?

I read too many, to just pick ONE!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Yikes! Again, too many!

26. What did you want and get?

I got my clavicles pierced and loved 'em! But the jackass used the wrong jewelry and I had to take them out! =[

27. What did you want and not get?

More tattoos! I want to get some vintage clothes or some patterns to do my own. But I think I must acquire a social life in which to wear them, first!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Easy A, Avatar, and Shutter Island

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

My friends, Gen and Bobbi Jo ordered Chinese food and surprised me with a picnic! I turned 39.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A trip to Greece? Just sayin...

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?


32. What kept you sane?

Lots of coffee or booze! Or coffee with some booze! My friend bringing me coffee and/or booze!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I developed a sick crush on Lil Wayne! (Don't even ask....)

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I'm more of a social issue misfit! Politicians are WHORES!

35. Who did you miss?

Randall! Of course I miss my Laura, incessantly! She's the Thelma, to my Louise! =]

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I didn't meet anyone new in 2010. I'm a damn hermit (thank you, higher education!)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Some people REALLY are disposible! Sad, but true! They are just so fucking toxic they contaminate everyone and everything around them.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to...

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am...

Breakin' the seal

I decided to start a whole new blog. New blog! WTF, right? My other blog is just a bit too personal and far too gloom and doom. Besides, who wants to read about me trying to avoid going batshit crazy most of the time anyways?

So, instead of a bunch of half-hearted resolutions (which I know I would have already broken by now)...I wanted to just revamp my way of thinking; my way of writing.

I want to focus on more of the positive. I want to take and share more pictures. I want to poke fun at more of the really insane shit that surrounds me-(I mean that in a good way, mostly).

Ye merry old, ranty previous blog!